Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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