Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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whats the capital of congo famine

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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