hear hear

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

Tall asians

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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