An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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