Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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