Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops