How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

What did the gay lifeguard tell the little boy at the pool? No running!

What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

Why do nascar drivers wreck Jeff gordon's bad racing Stupidity And kyle buschs great wrecking ability

A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

A child walks into a classroom.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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