I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Women's Rights

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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you gay?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops