What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What? Huh?

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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