What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: what did the poor, blind, deaf, orphan girl get for Christmas? A: cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops