If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Chuck norris

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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