A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops