What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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