Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops