What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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