Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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69

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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courestaveesh garasow prau varadesh

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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