What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

Face down, ass up. Thats the way I like to sleep

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

brittney griner

How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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