Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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