What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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