Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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Women

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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