What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Facebook How i met my mother

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops