why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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