What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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