When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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What's 4+7 47

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops