Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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24

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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why?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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