Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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