"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Ms Leong Sux

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

hola said the chinese man

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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