- Anti Joke

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??