What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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