Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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