why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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