Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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