A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Female Orgasms

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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