Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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