Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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White men's rights

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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