a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops