This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

thumb_up thumb_down -45

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

People who do not realize the concept of this website, and write real jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops