the WNBA.

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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