How old are you? 7

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops