What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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