Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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hi

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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