A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Jimmy Saville

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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