What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

I have a really funny joke.

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...