Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops