Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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this website is a bad joke

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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