Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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