I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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