Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and has ne education? A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops