Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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