How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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