Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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