What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

Yes

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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