If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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This sentance contains three errers

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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