Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

Women's rights.

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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