An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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