What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops