Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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people magazine

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops