If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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