How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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