Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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