Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Coldpaly is a good band

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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im @ work, LOL.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Women's rights.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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