Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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cool

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a man was shot.... he died

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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