Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Female Orgasms

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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