What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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