- Anti Joke

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

YOU

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

Is your refrigerator running? No.

Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

YOU

A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

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