Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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