If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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9/11 my birthday

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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