My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops