Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops