What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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