I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops