I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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