This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

A dancer walks into a barre

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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