A woman walks into a bar.

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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