"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

Female Orgasms

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

You dropped something.... Yo lip

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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