A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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