Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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