What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops