Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops