How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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a man checks his mypsace

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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school homewrok

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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