Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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