How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops