It's likely that very few people will read this.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops