What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I don't believe in giraffes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops