What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Want to hear a joke? No.

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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