Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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