How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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A man walks into a bar

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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