How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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My cat just died.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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