Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

A women left the kitchen.

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

How old are you? 7

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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