My cat just died.

Why did the chicken cross the road...

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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