there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops