Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...