Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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