How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops