A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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