Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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