so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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