"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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how much fish could a chicken

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops