Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

haha black people :D

why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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