Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Women can vote? WTF

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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