Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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