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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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